Virginia is for all Lovers…Almost

IMG_3195As of this moment, I will wake up tomorrow and be legally married in the state of Virginia.  Tomorrow I will not be legally married in Virginia. The SCOTUS issued a stay in the 4th circuit marriage case delaying marriage equality in Virginia.

The state WE live in…

WE are not legally married according to the state of Virginia. I spend all day in DC where I am legally married while Lisa spends her day in Virginia where she is not legally married. WE can ride up the road to Maryland where we are considered legally married.

In OUR home…not legally married.

WE were married in a small ceremony in New York City last November. WE stood in line, filled out our application, and then waited what felt like forever (it was over an hour) to finally have the license in hand. On the day of our wedding WE then signed that license…WE have pictures to prove it.


WE now even have a signed, sealed, and delivered copy of our marriage license.

We’re legally married*.

I am sure there are many different views on marriage equality but the one that keeps coming up in my world is religion. My marriage does not need to be recognized by your church.  It just doesn’t.  Personally, I wouldn’t choose to be involved with a church that doesn’t accept me or recognize my marriage. I came to that conclusion a long time ago.

The church does not issue marriage licenses.  The state does.

The rights and privileges of marriage are not granted by the church.  This is also done by the state and federal government.

I chose this person to be my family.  There aren’t many more intimate and important choices in life a person will make than to choose a mate.

Marriage and all of the rights associated are important to these Virginians especially now that we’ve started to grow our family.

* In nineteen states – CA, CT, DE, HI, IA, IL, ME, MD, MN, NH, NJ, NM, NY, OR, PA, RI, VT, and WA – plus Washington, DC

9 thoughts on “Virginia is for all Lovers…Almost

  1. VA better get it’s act together. We were married in DC in 2011 b/c it wasn’t legal in MD yet so we were in a similar situation for a year. Maybe things will get cleared up before the baby comes?


  2. It sucks to have to wait. My friends live in Virginia Beach, have a 6 month old, are legally married in NY one is in the military. their relationship/marriage/parentage isnt valid either. We’ve been watching this pretty closely too. But it’s all moving really quickly! Just this year alone 3 states passed it and something like 12 states are pending. Hopefully by 2015 it’ll be legal everywhere. it just sucks to have to wait for something that should have been ours from like forever ago!


  3. I hate this shit. We’re married too, but it’s not legally recognized in AZ. Probably won’t be for a looong while. And that’s why we’re leaving. One of the states we want to move to is VA, so we’ve been keeping a watch on this. So frustrating!


  4. I’m late reading this post, but we feel you. We got married in the small window when it was legal in Utah. We were so excited to put my wife’s name on the birth certificate and then we couldn’t. I never know what to put when filling out forms. On the birth certificate application I had to put that I didn’t know who the father of my baby was and had never been married to a man…then later in the application put that I had been married before. They were probably so confused. Part of me hopes SCOTUS doesn’t accept the case..but then I feel selfish and hope that they do for the sake of the folks in Wyoming and Louisiana.


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