Midwife: It’s coming!
Midwife: The baby’s coming!
Father: And how?
Midwife and Father: I see a nose, I see a curl, It’s a healthy, perfect, lovely, little –
For like two weeks I have had the dialogue from “No One Mourns the Wicked” of Wicked fame swirling in my head. But just the part when little Elphaba is being born…You might have to be a special kind of awesome to appreciate this…or even know what I am talking about. All…Day…Long…I hear the voice of the midwife from the original cast recording in my head…”the baby’s coming!” I am slightly concerned that during labor I will just blurt it out all sing-songy…But no one will notice, right? It’s not as if I will start singing “Push It”…push it real good…Salt n Pepa has been banned from the delivery room already. I love a good mix tape though…something with a mood arch.
Impractical Labor Playlist
- Lose Yourself by Eminem – Because nothing says I’ve got this labor by the vag like this power anthem.
- Stronger by Kanye West – Because when the going get tough…bring in the super douche.
- Firework by Katy Perry – Because who doesn’t need to feel like a special unicorn at some point while pushing a human out of a hole that starts out the size of a cheerio.
- Everything About You by Ugly Kid Joe – Just because, am I right, ladies?
- The Distance by Cake – Because labor stalled? This little diddy will get you back on course.
- Push It by Salt N Pepa – Because duh.
- This is How We Do It by Montell Jordan – Because you are in the zone…Because you just made labor your bee-otch!
- Hold On by Wilson Phillips – Because I know there is pain but you hold on for one more day.
- Eye of the Tiger by Survivor – Because you need to be reminded the end is in sight…
- We are the Champions by Queen – Because you just birthed that baby like nobody’s business!
Tomorrow begins Week 40…we are waiting patiently I suppose. It is like the single longest Christmas Eve in the history of the world. I mean, the baby is imminent…Right?!? He/she cannot stay in there forever…To ensure this…Lisa had an induction massage last Saturday. We went out on the worst weather day this entire winter for massages…
Tracie of Orange Wellness was fabulous! How do I know this? Because of Lisa’s face when she came out of the massage room…and because I also got a massage too. She uses a mixture of massage, accupressure and essential oils. It was fabulous! When I walked out of the massage I felt like a cloud…just free and floating. It was such a great way to spend the day together. If you are in the DC area, check My Orange Wellness out.
The induction massage did not send Lisa in to labor but the next day she had tons of energy. She woke up on Sunday morning and starting immediately cleaning things…then we painted almost the entire lower level of the house…The hormones do get things done. Other than some pangs and pain, there was no news to share on the labor front this week. We ended our week with some much-needed rest and good food slipping in some hot sauce for good measure. Tomorrow is our due date so we shall see what the next 24 hours bring…