I’ve been a mom for a whole 6 weeks so I’m probably smarter than you…

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Taken at 3 Weeks 4 Days

Let me drop some knowledge on you.

1. Run all of your errands before your baby is born…all of them…every errand ever.

2. Invest in an exercise ball.

3. Work on your upper body strength…specifically your arms…that baby cradling hold may cause cramping without training.

Giving unsolicited advice is like second nature to a mom so you’re welcome. Holy crap, I’m a mom. I mean seriously, it blows my mind sometimes.

LA is almost 7 weeks old and practically perfect in every way like Mary Poppins invented her or something. I can say that with a completely straight face even when she is screaming her lungs out for seemingly no reason at all during the hours of 10:00 PM through 1:00 AM. Ah yes, a mother’s love and delusions are scream proof…but it could be that I’m deaf now from listening to “white noise” at a million decibels.

I am not sure whether to thank or strangle the person who figured out that babies love the sound of the vacuum cleaner. It is not a pleasant sound to my adult ears…Is this how a womb sounds?  Like carpet being cleaned? Not like a seashell? Or the steady rhythm of a heart beating? Just the sound of a Hoover sucking carpet. This means great things for your floors but there is no need to burn up the motor of your own vacuum cleaner. There are 8 hour videos on YouTube dedicated to the sound of a vacuum cleaner so your baby can sleep through the night to the sound o’ floors being cleaned.  I even spent $1.29 for a little vacuum ditty on iTunes.

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BUY THIS! It may save your life…or your sanity at least.

Things, of course, have changed at home…Certain tasks that everyone takes for granted pre-baby like going to the bathroom become an event. I have given myself the title of “Bathroom Facilitator”. Sounds official, doesn’t it? The role of bathroom facilitator is exactly what it sounds like. Making sure everyone gets to do their business. Sounds easy enough until everyone has to go at one time. Madness, I tell you! Dogs bouncing, baby crying, mommies pee pee dancing…Still, it’s nice to be needed even it’s only for the crappy stuff (get it, crappy). Actually, I relish the diaper changes because that is our time to connect. While she is on that changing table, I have a captive audience. She smiles and wiggles while I make silly faces and jokes.

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These first 6 weeks have really flown by, for me anyway. I was only able to stay home with her for around a week. I had my initial internal normal freak out thoughts when I went back to work.

Will she remember me?

What am I missing?

Will she know I am her mom? 

I did not let myself go down a rabbit hole of sadness or worry though. I know she will remember me. I know I will miss some things but I know I will witness more than I will miss. She knows I am her mom. I can tell. She just does. When she rests her tiny hand on my forearm while I hold her we are both reassured. It is a small gesture that I can feel in the depths of my soul. Other times she just stares at my face and I just smile back.

L.A. (the baby) is doing well. At her first doctor’s appointment she weighed 5 lbs 15 oz. Such a tiny thing. We weren’t quite prepared for such a small wonder – We were told she would be like 7.5 lbs at birth…but she was a little tiny nugget. She did gain all of her lost weight plus some by her two-week appointment and grew an inch. She now is weighing in around 9 lbs 5 oz or so (unofficial weight). She is a healthy baby girl with super strong lungs. Loathes bath time and paper wipes. Loves cloth wipes fresh from the warmer and milk fresh from the boob. Her hobbies include staring at beige curtains and bouncing endlessly on an exercise ball sometimes while also staring at a beige curtain.

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1 Month 1 Day

Baby Mama is doing well also. She physically has recovered from birth though she may never fully recover mentally (ha ha). She is getting ready to return to work later this week. She is a natural…From day one her instincts kicked in and she has been impressive to watch. Lisa has been spending her days searching for the answer to the question…How big is the baby?  Likely, she is the only person who will truly get that little joke…but it makes me giggle too. If I didn’t think I would get into too much trouble I’d totally record her. Every time she says it I giggle like a baby myself.

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9 thoughts on “I’ve been a mom for a whole 6 weeks so I’m probably smarter than you…

  1. Fantastic advice on the errands. Truly. 🙂 She is an absolutely beautiful baby. I’m making a mental note on the vacuum thing. I hadn’t read that anywhere, so it’s news to me! Good to know!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. She’s amazing! Yes, the womb sounds like a vacuum cleaner, at least according to my mom and to the happiest baby on the block book. I’m sure I will thank you for that app in a few months! Keep up the good work!

    Like

  3. Aw what a cutie! Here’s some of my unsolicited mom advice lol, if absolutely necessary you can pee while holding the baby (or baby wearing if your so inclined). It’s so simple, but I never thought of it until new mom friends were talking about it. It’s been rare, but in a dire emergency he comes with me. Now he can sit on the bath mat and play with his toys. Sitting on one’s own is a marvelous thing.

    Liked by 1 person

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