Come Out, Come Out…

Where ever you are…how ever you want…when ever you want. It’s really up to you.

Yes, it can be scary.

Yes, the words are hard to find sometimes.

Yes, it feels too hard.

Sometimes it will go well.

Sometimes you will cry….tears of joy, relief, and even pain.

Some people will cry with you.

Some people will hug you.

Some one will be shocked. BUT

Some one will say, “I knew.”

You may lose a friend.

You may lose a family member.

You will feel free.

You will sleep better at night.

You will move forward.

You will know so much love.

It was hard, scary and a very long process for me. BUT I DO NOT REGRET IT! The truth is I still come out all of the time. It is the nature of things still. People assume straight. Sometimes when I meet a new adult especially in a professional setting or another parent, I get to come out. I usually get to come out when I am asked about my daughter’s father. It is often in polite conversation or in reaction to my daughter’s very light blond hair in contrast to my very dark hair. I always feels slightly embarrassed on behalf of the asker as I say, “she has two moms.”

Once you’re out to the people who matter most, the other times will just become a thing you say.

So come out. We are all here waiting for you with open arms.

Before She Turns One…

I am such a bad blogger mom…I skipped her 9 month update and her 10 month and now I’ve let 11 months slip through my typing fingers…but don’t worry there were photo shoots.

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This first year has passed by so quickly. She went from fragile baby we held firmly in our arms like she would break at the slightest movement to indestructible toddler who constantly falls on her butt and bumps into everything forever keeping a little bruise on her forehead. She busted her lip for the first time a few days ago which about gave this novice mommy a heart attack.  She cried for a minute and then was over it. Her little lip is healing nicely and she doesn’t even seem to notice. She was still giving kissing and sucking on her bottle like a champ.

The other morning when she woke up instead of pulling her out of bed to get breakfast and start our day, I just climbed in with her to snuggle. We laughed, made noises and said, “Hey”, with different inflections. It’s amazing all that can be said in a three letter word. She put her head on my chest several times just being still something you don’t get much of from a girl on the go. For those 15 minutes or so time stopped. We were just in the moment and it was perfect. I did it again yesterday morning because we have no where to be. We do not have to live by the alarm clock at the moment. The lighting was in just such a way that when I looked at her face I could see that baby from the sonogram picture. Being home with her has been the best decision we have made in a long time. I feel like it maximizes everyone’s time together. There is a financial cost to the time but the benefits are amazing.

So expect some happy birthday gushes later in the week!

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Momming So Hard – SAHWM

I am thirteen days in to my new path as a Stay at Home Working Mom and boooooy am I tired. As you know or may not know, I left my full-time position a little over two weeks ago to stay at home with our little #LADC. For the first ten months she had the best childcare a little baby could have – her grammy. But grammy needed to get back to doing what a grammy does when not being a grammy extraordinaire. So we made the difficult, easy, logical, scary, wonderful, cost efficient decision for me to stay at home.

So far I am rocking this stay at home mom thing.  We are working on our daily routine making sure to carve out time for play, learning, exploring, me to do some work, to clean up the house, and MAYBE carve out some time to write. I will be working from home. I have a few P/T gigs that I’ll be doing so I can pay back those evil minions at Navient.

So what do I think about my new role?  I LOVE IT! I think it is where I am meant to be right now. I GET to be with an awesome little human every single day. Plus with her as my office assistant it means nap and snack times are totally a work day must.

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Bullying and Me – #SpiritDay

Most of us have been the victim of a bully and if we’re honest we’ve been the bully too. As a woman, a lesbian and a mom bullying is something I think about more now than I ever did as kid. I think about the times could have and should have taken a stand but did not.

I remember the kids who were bullied…daily…

For their hair…weight…height…glasses…clothes.

Who were called gay like it was a bad thing.

Those kids were my friends in early elementary school before we moved to the 4th grade playground.

Before cliques and social status became our overlords.

They were my friends before we all knew who had and who had not.

They were my friends before we knew who was hot and who was not.

I remember the kid who made fun of my weight even though I wasn’t fat.

I remember the kid who threw paper at me during lunch for no reason. He was just a jerk.

I remember that same kid called me pig and made piggy noises at me. Such an ass.

I realize that the little girl who was made fun of for her old lady clothes actually wore homemade clothes. She would be so in right now.

I realize the little boy who looked like he had leprosy actually had cigarette burns on his arms.

I realize I was lucky.

Bullying in all of its forms is harmful and dangerous. There are now even more ways to bully a person than there were just a few short years ago. As parents we have the responsibility to teach our kids that different isn’t bad or wrong. People and friends come in all sorts of packages.

All beautiful.

All worthy.

All with something to offer.

A 5 Month Baby Update

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The other morning LA snuggled up to me and grabbed on to my arm. At first, I was afraid she was waking up and I was not ready to get up but she just wanted to be close…and so did I. She is starting return affection and seek it out. She is snuggled, kissed, hugged, held and loved all day, every day between her mom, grammy and I. The other day I said give me a kiss and she open mouthed me right on the cheek. I think she might be familiar with the term kiss. She reaches out to be passed to the next one of us or holds her arms out when the Exersaucer has just exhausted her patience. She will grab your neck to hug you and plant an awesome open mouthed kiss anywhere on your face that she lands.

She is always on the go now. Attempting to crawl with her face pressed against the floor and butt in the air. She hasn’t quite mastered crawling but she can smoosh herself where she needs to go. She wants to stand and takes steps much to our doctor’s dismay. She is so strong she can push herself up with minimal effort. She still is too wobbly to stand or walk but she really wants to. Our doctor didn’t believe that she was sitting up on her own until we put her on the table. LA just sat there balancing herself.

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She is playful, determined, slightly impatient, smiley, funny and soooo cute. I fall in love with her a little bit more every day. I watch her sleep and still check to see if she is breathing like a crazy person. It is so fun watching her grow and change. Sigh…

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Anyway, at her appointment last week we had an official weigh-in and measuring. She is just about 14 lbs. and 28 in. All of her other vitals were normal. She did not enjoy her shots but did enjoy scooting around on the doctor’s stool with her mom.

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LA LOVES:

  • Sophie the Giraffe – mostly putting the feet in her mouth.
  • Putting her own feet in her mouth.
  • Putting any feet around in her mouth.
  • Jumping in her jolly jumper.
  • Laughing at stuffed animals being dropped on her.
  • Eating avocados, bananas and carrots.
  • Toys that crinkle.
  • Walks in her stroller.
  • Bath time bubbles!

LA LOATHES:

  • Sweet potatoes.
  • When the seal on her ExerSaucer will not fit in her mouth properly.
  • When other people eat. Always. Every meal.
  • Poachers…especially Lion poachers.
  • Donald Trump. Don’t know why but she cries every time he’s on TV. (I may have made that up)

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Day 13 – Shout Outs for My Homies

The BlogHer Conference is later on this week. It sounds like a fantastic conference with a lot of good information for bloggers. It’s the kind of thing I would like to attend at some point. Not this year though because babies and things…Today’s prompt was about the conference for those going…for those not going it is a chance to give a shout out to our favorite blogs. So here they are in no particular order.

  • The Chronicles of a Non Belly Mama – The ladies were due a couple of months ahead of us so they were my go to guide for all things pregnancy related…especially vegetable sized baby things. Great, fun family to follow! I think they may have been the first blog I followed.
  • Reciprocal Love – These ladies have an exciting time ahead for sure! Another blog I’ve been following from the very beginning.
  • My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows – This is funny stuff right here. I don’t think I need to explain further…Her blog name says it all…but there are amazing drawings for the words too.
  • Fisticuffs and Shenanigans – She’s funny and seriously deranged in the best possible way.
  • Raising My Rainbow – A great look at parenting a gender nonconforming child. She is an awesome mom.
  • Life With Roozle – This blog ranges from simple smiley posts to deep thought provoking stuff. I dig it on a lot of levels.

Because it is almost 11:00 PM EST and I am super super super tired…Here are more blogs I love…with no explanation but they are worth a read!!!

No blog is the same and everyone has a unique perspective to offer. These are just some of my favorite blogs and I’m sure I missed some and I’ll have to come back and update.

Tuesday, July 14th, 11:20 AM – Already back and adding.

NaBloPoMo July 2015

4 Month Update

We brought our sweet baby home on a snowy blizzardy type day.

It is hot now.

It is summer.

It is July…

And our baby is FOUR freaking MONTHS OLD! Look at how much she has changed from when she was just four weeks old.

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The difference between a 4 week old and 4 month old feels infinitely different. She definitely has less hair. Her fingers are still super long like the rest of her. So much changes so fast. Her little personality is starting to take shape. She has little coo-versations, giggles, smiles, grabs, scoots and sleeps. I swear, yesterday, she fit perfectly in a 3 month onesie but today I couldn’t get the darn thing buttoned. It is fun to watch her grown and change but I would not wish this time away. I savor every laugh, smile and noise.

No official weight or height for this month yet. Her unofficial weight is around 13 lbs.

LA LOVES

  • Making fun noises
  • Holding her own bottle
  • Playing with her feet
  • The taste of a good book or even a mediocre one as long as the pages turn
  • Putting all the things in her mouth
  • Climbing her giant panda bear (w/ mom’s help, of course)
  • Playing with toys that crinkle
  • Gnawing on Sophie the Giraffe
  • Playing on her exer-saucer
  • Smiling at moms
  • Grabbing hair
  • Giving open mouth kisses to everything
  • Riding in her Ergo
  • Laughing at her moms and grammy

LA LOATHES

  • Things that don’t fit in her mouth
  • When her limbs won’t do all the things
  • A cold wipe
  • When moms eat dinner

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SCOTUSBlog Live: June 26th

Good morning! It is Friday which, is amazing. I think real-time blogging about a live blog makes me some sort of weird super fan. However, it did make me sublimely happy yesterday so I am totally doing it again today as promised. Chances are I will be silent during most of the 9:00 AM hour as I have “work” things to do. So here is what you need to know.

You can find SCOTUSBlog if you click here!

The link to all things Obergefell v. Hodges (SSM Case) is right here!

You can see what cases are left, which Justices have issued opinions and other stats if you click here!

You can check out that Hillary Clinton same-sex marriage campaign video that is making everyone cry below!

[9:03 AM EST] Amy How is live blogging for ScotusBlog! It’s time to get on people!

Oh yea, the link to the SCOTUSBlog FAQs….so important.

[9:16 AM EST] Don’t take this to mean anything but today is the anniversary of the Windsor and Lawrence opinions!

A very bad quality picture of me and Edie Windsor...alcohol may have been a factor in photo quality and distance.

A very bad quality picture of me and Edie Windsor…alcohol may have been a factor in photo quality and distance.

P.S. If you haven’t seen A Very Long Engagement, do it! It is how Lisa and I fell in love with the story of Edie and Thea. I am pretty sure it is still available on Netflix.

[9:43 AM EST] The count is 32K on SCOTUSBlog!

Not so fun fact: I’m labeling things right now. Feel the excitement.

[9:46 AM EST] Lyle is the guy from SCOTUSBlog in the press room at the courthouse who calls in the opinions. Thus, #WaitingforLyle

[9:54 AM EST] FOUR BOXES TODAY! FOUR!!!

[9:58 AM EST] 54K people on SCOTUBlog

[9:59 AM EST] OMG! OMG! OMG! 1 minute until opinion time.

[10:00 AM EST] We are officially #waitingforLyle

[10:01 AM EST] Marrriage – First Opinion – Kennedy

[10:02 AM EST] Holding: Fourteenth Amendment requires a state to license a marriage between two people of the same sex.

And to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex when a marriage was lawfully licensed and performed out of state.

[10:02 AM] 5-4 with dissents from the obvious, Sixth Circuit reversed.

OK I am headed to the courthouse.

Quick Update: There are pictures and a few videos on my Instagram account – LezBVeganMoms. I’ll write more later when I have time. 

Congratulations everyone! Love freaking won!!!!

Thursday, June 25th – SCOTUSBlog Live

Picture Taken on Oral Argument Day outside SCOTUS

Picture Taken on Oral Argument Day outside SCOTUS

I have decided to update my blog in real time in anticipation of the pending decision in the Obergefell v. Hodges case. I will do this tomorrow and Monday if necessary as well. When the opinion does come out, I promise to run down to the Supreme Court and share the excitement from the streets. I mean this is all purely for my own amusement but I think it could be fun. Feel free to comment on what marriage equality would mean to you. Opposing opinions are welcome as well just be respectful.

[9:12 AM EST] On SCOTUSblog Live – Join everyone!!! Here is a Link!

[9:20 AM EST] I do not comment or ask questions on the SCOTUS Blog. People ask a lot of the same questions but can be answered in the FAQs.

[9:31 AM EST] P.S. I am at work so likely I may get interrupted by work but hopefully not at 10 AM when opinions start.

Also, just saw that UniteForMarriage has a listing of events going on across the U.S. for when the decision does come out.

[9:37 AM EST] There are 7 cases left for SCOTUS to issue opinions in from this term. Several still left from January and February oral arguments. The SSM case was argued in April so what I’m saying is today may not be the day. Check out the statistical analysis of this term.

Another picture Oral argument day at SCOTUS

Another picture Oral argument day at SCOTUS

[9:44 AM EST] The live blog feed has been quiet for 4 minutes…I even refreshed to be sure. Hope the site hasn’t crashed! That would be tragic!

[9:50 AM EST] If SSM opinion doesn’t come out today or tomorrow. I’ll definitely make sure I’m at SCOTUS for the 10 AM opinions. Decision made.

ALSO 30K on SCOTUSBlog Now!

[9:51 AM EST] Two boxes of opinions which means 3 or 4 opinions today are possible or maybe 2 fat ones.

[9:57 AM EST] People are asking some eye roll inducing questions. Some I hope are jokes but maybe not. I just keep reminding myself…Everyone needs to learn. Questions are good.

[9:59 AM EST] 1 minute until opinion time!!! Squeeeeeee!!!!!

[10:00 AM EST] Waiting for Lyle (I can explain that later)

[10:02 AM EST] First opinion – Texas Housing – Justice Kennedy has the opinion.

[10:04 AM EST] This is a pretty major case. I’ll post the link in a bit. Next opinion could be from Kennedy, Scalia or Chief Justice.

[10:07 AM EST] SCOTUS Blog user count 62K

[10:08 AM EST] Next Opinion – Healthcare (King v. Burwell) case – Chief Justice for the Court – 6-3 Fourth Circuit affirmed – Holding: Subsidies are available.

[10:10 AM EST] In layman terms per Amy Howe – This means that individuals who get their health insurance through an exchange established by the federal government will be eligible for tax subsidies.

As a side note: I have to pee. And Scalia is my favorite Justice. I never actually agree with him but I love the way he writes. And he’s pretty darn funny. 

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[10:12 AM EST] There were only two fat opinions today. There are 5 opinions left, SSM being one of them.

OK blog friends…that wraps up our day with SCOTUS. If I am looking at the chart correctly, there is still 1 case left from February, 1 from March and 3 from April but I have to pee so bad I can not concentrate.

Weekend Family Fun in Rehoboth Beach, DE

This whole month I have been thinking about Pride and how to participate with a youngster in tow. In general, Pride is kind of an adult affair…information booths, booze, beads (kids like beads though), parties, and fabulous parades…But who doesn’t love a parade? Am I right? I am sure eventually there would be questions about certain floats…and I’d have to explain that the plastic squares with the round discs are not suckers that have lost their sticks…they are something entirely different!
With an infant though, this year my major concern was about heat and sunburn on very fresh baby skin. June in most of the country is HOT! The last few years we have gone down to the Pride festival we have been so hot that we quickly opted for an indoor restaurant after a quick walk through. In our younger years we probably would have had all the drinks and danced our cares away. But alas…we have to do all the responsible adulting now…Now I know there are some family areas at Pride and I will explore those more in the future as DC Pride has come and gone. Yesterday, I got an email from CAMP Rehoboth about their first annual Family Pride CAMP! This is so exciting! Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend Family Pride CAMP this year so I hope they do it next year!  I am posting details below and click on the link above for more details.
From CAMP Rehoboth’s Website: 
Featuring bouncy-castles, a pizza party, parent’s-night-out, a seaside BBQ, a fire station tour, beach games, a farewell brunch, and more, Family Pride CAMP 2015 will be a fun-filled weekend—generating a lifetime of memories—for all families, young and old, big and small!
Family Pride CAMP Schedule of Events

June 26-28
Rehoboth Beach

Friday, June 26

  • 4-6 p.m. Registration at CAMP Rehoboth. Preregistration is available online or come to CAMP Rehoboth to check in and pick up information about the weekend.
  • 6-9 p.m. CAMP Rehoboth Welcome Party-Featuring food, drink, and entertainment for kids and adults.

Saturday, June 27

  • 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Gordons Pond Pavilion-Featuring lunch, beach toys and games.
  • 4 p.m.  Rehoboth Beach Fire Station Tour
  • 5:30-8:30 p.m. Let’s Bounce Party at “Shell We Bounce!”(add-on fee of $30 for first child and $25 for each additional sibling), featuring dinner, babysitters and fun!
  • 6 p.m.-8 p.m. Adult Dinner at Eden (pay at restaurant).

Sunday, June 28

  • Featured Beach: Poodle Beach
  • 12-4 p.m. Farewell Lunch at the Bromley-Salie house, 5 Prospect Street (steps away from Poodle Beach). Featuring food, drink, toys, games and restroom facilities.

$30 per adult;$15 per kid; $90 per family (max). Plus optional add-ons (babysitting, parent’s dinner at a local restaurant).

Even if you cannot make this event! Check out CAMP Rehoboth’s events…they have a Women’s Fest every year which is also awesome! Rehoboth Beach is very LGBTQ and vegan friendly!
The only Rehoboth picture I have on my work computer.

The only Rehoboth picture I have on my work computer.

 

The Twinkle Diaries